Your internal dialogue may be lying to you

That internal voice that tells you that you are not good enough, not worthy, or not lovable, isn’t actually yours.

You weren't born thinking that you’re not good enough, not lovable, or not worthy. You were taught it somewhere or learned it passively through the messages you received.

Being told or shown that our feelings don’t mater as children, sends the message that we don’t matter, and therefore there is something wrong with us.

If love or attention was conditional on being “good” as a child, then we learned that we are not good enough as we are.

Most people (unfortunately) have some version of “I’m not good enough” and we can often trace this back to childhood. We internalize the opinions of teachers, parents, caregivers, coaches, etc. and eventually those opinions become our own internal dialogue, which we believe faithfully.

It is our biological need and drive to crave and seek attachment. When that attachment becomes conditional on how well we perform, behave, act, etc. we learn that we are not good enough as we are, but only good enough when we are doing well at something, and therefore only worthy of love and connection in those moments.

It is important to understand where these beliefs come from, not to blame, but to begin to take ownership over our own healing and shift the dialogue we speak to ourselves in.